Monday, February 22, 2010

STUFFITIS (stuff' i`tis) excessive need for stuff; inflammation of stuff; disease process of having too much stuff

Yesterday, a friend was discussing this new shopping outlook with me.  I will call her Carol Ann.  She was telling me how she has stuffitis - a common condition for men and women living in this day and age.  I know because I have been suffering from it all my life and didn't even realize it until recently.  It's an insidious disease process that begins early in life and typically deteriorates as we age.  The symptoms may include increased heart rate when the victim eyes a particular item they believe they cannot live without,  a feeling of elation at seeing a package arrive in the mailbox or delivered by UPS, but sadly followed by a deep, sinking feeling when the credit card statement arrives.  The latter may result in sweaty palms, a furrowed brow and indigestion.  If not treated, the initial symptoms will lead to even worse health problems such as high blood pressure, the need for Botox after all that furrowing and of course the purchase of multiple bottles of antacid.  Financial, as well as physical, demise is imminent.  Sadly, about 90% of the population suffers from this malady - but there is good news!  We can stop stuffitis!  How?  Quit buying things that you already have!  If your shower ledge is lined up with shampoo, why on earth are you buying more?  If you already have sheets on your bed and they don't have holes in them, do you really need that new set?  Look carefully in your closet, at that collection of DVDs, the dreaded attic where all things 'needed later' are thrown and ask yourself if you can do without the next great piece of $39 art you spy at your favorite home decor store.  Yes, Carol Ann, there is a cure for stuffitis.  Now, finding a cure to a Tic Tac addiction is another matter entirely - I may need to go to rehab for this one.

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